neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I should really go start some laundry I've been a mom for over 7 years now. And I'm still looking at other parents and wondering how they do it. You'd think I'd get over that. I went to open house last night and realized that I might not be a grown-up yet. I mean it's not like last year when Ian was in the first grade and I went to a parent teacher conference and his teacher read me a book. I mean she read me a "See Dick run. Run Dick run" book. Cover to cover. In the same voice that she'd read to the first graders in. When she was done all I could say was "I'm in college." It wasn't like that. It's just that things don't run so smoothly over here. Just getting out the door to go to open house was a hassle and a half. Because we wouldn't be getting out until 8:00 and that's Caleb's bedtime. So before we left I had to make dinner, get them to eat, bitch at them to do their homework for about half an hour, let them take their showers, make them lay out their clothes for the next day and find some time to sit down for a minute. Then thirty minutes before we had to leave Ian remembered that he has a project that is supposed to be turned in tomorrow (today). This project involves erecting a volcano and adding ingredients that will make it "erupt". And I can't keep up. I'm constantly running around feeling like it's half-time and I haven't even gotten to the field yet. The things that get sacrificed in my hysteria to be perfect are the dishes, the laundry, the sweeping, the mopping, the dusting, the stuff that I should be doing during the day when not too much is going on. But instead of doing that I'm running back and forth to the office and sending out e-mails answering questions for the office. Because I decided that even though volunteering for them means that I see a lot of people that I care about dying, it also means that I get to help these people live while they can. And for reasons I won't go into just yet, I am tired ALL THE TIME. But it's getting better so who am I to complain. Right? And every weekend I get all caught up and have somewhat relaxing days and start to feel like I have everything under control. Then Monday comes and it's all outta control again. But I seriously feel like I struggle constantly to keep up. And I look at other families and they seem to have their shit together. And it's really starting to piss me off. Do other parents let their children sit down for dinner wearing bird costumes and then just smile and nod when the child won't eat more than a tablespoon because obviously birds have smaller stomachs than little boys? Or go to the grocery store in galoshes because it was easier than fighting with them to put on their real shoes? Or what about that day that I let them eat cake for breakfast because there were no clean bowls for cereal? That made me sound really bad. I did the dishes about an hour later. Just, you know, FYI. Is this normal? I mean, are other families just like mine and just put on good appearances? Or am I really falling THAT far behind? 10:51 a.m. - 09.21.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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