neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- neener neener neener It is amazing how therapuetic this place is. Yesterday I came here when my mom had pushed me past my limit, I bitched here, I said everything that I want to say to her but can't, and now I feel 10 times better. Whoo hoo! I have been so terribly stressed out lately. It just seems like it's one thing after the other. Constantly. I've given it a lot of thought and I think that maybe the circumstances haven't changed all that much, maybe it's the way I'm handling things these days. I used to kind of make a joke out of everything. I'd find the humor in everything. I really liked that me. Funniness is important to me. All of my friends are funny, I just really like funny. But lately I've been so serious about everything. So for a few minutes I was in a pure state of panic. I was thinking how I'm all serious and oh my god, I've gotten old. I've grown up and oh shit! I can't grow back down! Then I came to my senses and realized that I have gone from working at the office, going to school full time, being active in the kids school, just living with me and my immediate family, and being happy. To quitting my volunteer job, not going to school over the summer, the kids are out of school and home, and my mother has moved in. Throw into the mix a visit from distant in-laws, yucky medical/emotional stuff, and a nasty cold and I can see how I might be a bit stressed. But I was still worried that I had grown up through all the stress. About an hour ago my mail man came to the door to deliver some books that I had ordered. I don't like my mail man and he doesn't like me. He said something snooty and when he turned his back to walk away I stuck my tongue out put my thumbs in my ears and wiggled my fingers around while shaking my butt. The only thing I didn't do is make that neener neener neener noise that typically follows those gestures. I think I can rest assured that I haven't grown up. 2:21 p.m. - 6.6.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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