neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- mothers day I don't even know where to begin about yesterday. It was wonderful, fabulous, more than I could ever describe with words, so I'm not going to attempt to. Besides it was so incredibly special that I don't want to let it out of my head yet, I don't want to share it. It's mine. Now that all of that cheesiness is over I can get to today. Woke up, ate a surprisingly good breakfast. Spent time with my family and then went to my moms house. I know it's mothers day and I shouldn't say anything negative about dear old ma. But. What the hell is wrong with this woman? The plan was lunch and a movie. I get there and she's in her pajamas, even though I called her twice to confirm the time and blah blah blah. So there's my pajama clad mother looking at me as though I'd just asked her to drink a gallon of spit. "If it's mothers day I don't understand why I have to go out with you? Shouldn't I get to decide what I want to do on mothers day?" That is what she said to me. And that's fine, but couldn't she have told me that she didn't want to go out with me before I drove over there? Not to mention that it kind of hurt my feelings that she's putting her boyfriend ahead of me. But, I'm 26 and she's certainly allowed to do her own thing without me getting my panties in a wad about it. Still it's a bit annoying that she chooses to ditch me and our plans and while I'm walking out the door she says "Billy and his friends need to be here at 5 o'clock tomorrow night, tell them that if they're late then I'll call the whole thing off and they'll have to come out again on Tuesday." Excuse me miss thang? Let me get ths straight. You can't afford to/don't want to live on your own even though you are 40 some odd years old? So you beg to live with your daughter and her family and they say yes. Then all of a sudden your back hurts so you quit your job but have already started the process of moving to BILLY's and MY house. So you can sit here and not work and BILLY will support you? And then, even though he's already gone above and beyond son-in-law duties by letting you move in with us, he offers to save you money with the movers and instead him and his friends will move you, INTO OUR HOUSE. Now, on top of ditching our plans you start making demands about what time you can be moved because you don't want to miss your TV shows?!?!?!?!?!? That'a a lot of nerve. I don't know, maybe I'm making a big deal out of this but this is the third time that my mom has moved in with us and we've only been married for a bit over twice that long. The first time she lived with us she stayed for about a year. The second time she stayed for almost two years. This time I have an out. She'll have to move out before I have the baby. I only have a 3 bedroom house. The boys share a room, me and billy have a room and the baby wlll need the room she'll be staying in. I fully realize how callous I sound about this but I worry about how things will work out between me and billy with her living here. I worry about some of the bad habits that she used to have coming back and I worry that my house will become party central for her and her boyfriend. They are a very party oriented couple. Plus I'm a bit worried that she'll break my "no illegal substances in the house" rule. I may sound like a bitch here but she has a bad past and we just started developing a relationship when my sons were born. This is mostly due to the fact that through my childhood and adolescence she was a hardcore drug addict and alcoholic. So much so that when I was 13 she left to go get groceries and visit her friend and didn't come back for a week and a half. From the ages of 2 to 17 we moved 38 times. All in the same city. I've been to over 20 schools, again, in the same city. It was just bad. And it has worried me everytime she has moved in with me. What I want most for my children is the stability that I don't feel like I had. I just don't want her to disrupt their lives. And maybe that's not fair because I don't think that she's touched drugs in about 6 years and I know she doesn't drink anymore. But just because I might not be being fair doesn't mean that I'm not still a bit troubled about it all. 6:33 p.m. - 5.13.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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