neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the great ferret incident So I'm standing at my kitchen stove this morning making breakfast for Clifford before I take him to the bus stop. I'm watching the butter menlt in the pan and about to add the scrambled eggs when something moves in my peripheral vision. I have 2 children, a dog, a cat, a hamster, a rat, and two fish, so something is always moving in my peripheral vision and I don't pay a lot of attention this particular time. Until my heater vent falls off of the wall and I see something furry behind it. I freaked. I'm running around not really knowing which direction I should run in and trying to make sure Clifford is out of harms way and what not. Somehow in my hysteria I manage to get a glimpse of the furry thing which is not running and hiding as furry things ought to do but is instead running around with me and this scares me more. Until I realize that it's a ferret. This is truly a first in my book, I've had a mouse break into my house, a squirrel, a bird, and once a bat, but never a ferret. So I say somewhat loudly, "It's a ferret!" and Clifford gets all excited and starts walking towards it. And I freak again. "GET AWAY FROM THE FERRET CLIFFORD!!! YOU DON'T KNOW IF THAT THING BITES!!!!!" In all the confusion I have left the stove on and the butter is burning and the whole kitchen and living room are so smoky that I can barely breathe. I can't think straight, I've just woken up 20 minutes earlier and I haven't had my first cup of coffee. Clifford starts crying, "I love the ferret, he's nice, let's name him saskelan." I'm trying to get my dog away from the ferret because scary enough the dog and the ferret were around the same size (damn small dogs) and all I can picture is poor little Cammi getting attacked by a ferret and even if it doesn't hurt her physically that's gotta be emotionally scarring in some size envy, status kind of way. The ferret is running all over the house like it's a fucking playground and he's been let loose, he's playing with the dog toys, eating the dog food, and I'm hysterical. What does one do to get a ferret out of their house? Clifford is still crying about loving the beast and he's leaning down rubbing his fingers together and making that kissy come here noise that you're supposed to make at animals. Only he's going "Saskelan, tch, tch, tch, Saskelan, tch tch tch" And the fucking ferret is going to him. About this time the dog notices the ferret and doesn't start barking like any self-respecting dog would do. No. She wants to play with it. So here's my dog rolling around on the floor, literally rolling around with the ferret. They're fucking friends. I'm terrified and my dog has befriended it. About this time I've noticed that Clifford is not saying that we should name him Saskelan he is saying his name is Saskelan. So I come to my senses long enough to realize that Clifford knows this animal. And the ferret definitely responds when you call him Saskelan, so I ask Clifford how he knows its name and finally after all this hysteria it is put forth that this is the neighbors ferret. I didn't even know the neighbor had a ferret. 10:00 a.m. - 6.20.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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