neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- visitation sucks ass It sure is getting difficult to write an entry around here. Not the past Saturday but the one before that I drove the kids back to Jacksonville and left them with their father. Until July 4th. Which was already a bit upsetting and I had to fight through the emotionalness of it all but to make matters worse I went in the house where Billy lives now and it's a fucking pigsty. Piles of laundry (the clean clothes, I'm told) all over the floor, piles maybe isn't the right word, mountains of laundry. With pieces of paper and various other trash mixed in for good measure. Piles of onions and potatoes on the kitchen floor with lamp oil sitting on top because who doesn't like a little lamp oil with their onions. Stuff everywhere. Everywhere! Just Stuff. No clear surfaces, just stuff all over the place. Books, papers, spray cans of god knows what. And I just took my 2 year old there. How the hell are they going to keep him out of all of that stuff? They must really watch the kids close over there. Nope. Ian (the 10 year old) watches Tyler (the 2 year old) and Thank God for Ian. Billy got married this past Saturday to the most trailer trash hick woman I could possibly imagine. The type of woman that stands behind billy when he's on the phone and I'm telling him that I'm concerned about the lack of supervision, she stands behind him shouting about how she'll kick my ass and that she's a good mom. Kick my ass? What? Billy works and goes to school, so he's only home for an average of one hour a day and he alots some of that time for Angie (the new wife) and some for the kids (not his kids mind you, ALL of the kids, all 7 of them) and about 5 minutes to his kids. And I hate him. They're not having any fun, they're too many kids running around that place. It's a 3 bedroom house and the occupants as far as I can keep up are Billy and Angie, her mom and dad, and 4 kids, 7 when my kids are there. That's 8 people that live there all the time and 11 when my kids are there. In a 3 bedroom house. Aren't there laws against that. Additionally he hasn't paid child support since I don't know when and his new employer called him after I faxed her the Income deduction order to make sure it was all right with him that they take that money out of his check. To see if it was all right with him?! And of course he said no. So that's a bunch of bullshit. The thing that's really killing me is that the kids are so miserable and they call me and tell me about all the shit going on there and how Ian is the only one 80% of the time watching Tyler and it just kills me. Because 1) Ian should be allowed to play and be a kid, Tyler isn't his son and 2) I feel comforted and reassured that Ian is watching Tyler because at least someone is. Ian tells me about concerns he has and how the new mother-in-law gets mad occasionally and just hits them where ever she can reach them at the time, I talk to Billy about he has to stop this shit and stand up for his kids and Ian gets in trouble for telling me. The kids want to be with their dad, they love him, they want to spend time with him and he is just really dropping the fucking ball on this one. I'm going to pick them up for the weekend on the 18th and I'll give them the option of coming home with me and if they take me up on that Billy has stated that I'll have to come with the police to pick up their stuff. Why can't he look at this from their perspective and just stop all the drama. It's not about him or me or what we want or proving to each other that he's the better parent or I'm the better parent. None of that shit matters not one little iota. What matters is the kids and they're definitely getting the shit end of this deal. 9:13 a.m. - 06.08.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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