neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- all I want to do is eat this last piece of cake and get some sleep Today is not a good day for an entry. I'm lonely and I've had a lot of bad news this week. Not really bad I guess, but not good either. First, I had an appointment with my gynecologist. Which didn't result in bad news per se, but it wasn't good either and could possibly be very bad. Waiting for test results is a bitch. David doesn't deal with these things well I suppose because he spent all of Tuesday evening avoiding me when I needed him the absolute most. Which is the same reaction I got last time there was scary health news. He says I should have came and retrieved him from his activities but I say I shouldn't have to. "David, could you quit doing what you're doing and just come sit with me and be bored because I don't really need you to say or do anything but I'd really like you to just sit here with me." uh uh. I can not make myself do that. Next fun stuff for the week was Caleb. He failed second grade. And not because he's not smart but because he couldn't pull his shit together long enough to learn what he needed to learn. Sometimes it would take us 5 hours to get him to put 14 words in alphabetical order. 5 hours! So his teacher suggested we do some testing and I agreed. I've always known he has attention problems and he's always been quite hyper but I've succesfully ignored it all the way through his failing kindergarten, floundering through first grade and now failing second grade. So I got off my ass and made the decision to have him tested and if testing was conclusive I'd go ahead and put him on meds. Which I fucking hate. I hate it. But I went tonight and picked up his concerta prescription. Hating every fucking minute of it. And tomorrow morning I'll give it to him hating myself for resorting to medications. But if this helps him do better in school, if this helps him in awkward social situations that used to be so troublesome then it's worth it. But I feel pretty crappy about it right now. I feel so overwhelmed. All I want to do is eat this last piece of cake and get some sleep. 10:42 p.m. - 05.29.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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