neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this shit is for the birds I am so sick to fucking death of feeling like what I have to say isn't important. Or like everything I say is irrational and stupid. If something that you said made me feel bad then it made me feel bad. That's not stupid or irrational. And if you ask me why I am aggravated with you and then you tell me to shut up while I'm explaining then fuck you. Obviously you don't care why I'm aggravated with you. Because even if it doesn't make sense to you one would think that you would like to know why it makes sense to me, and what line of thought got me that fucking aggravated to begin with. And it used to piss me off so badly that I would hang up on you so as not to say something that would hurt your feelings and then I'd sit there crying and feeling miserable. So I find it terribly sad that it's happened so often that I'm now indifferent. Now, I hang up on you because I'm all pissed off and then I'm just over it. I mean it still sucks but I'm not sitting around losing any sleep or anything. So what does that say? I think it says that I won't deal with feeling like my feelings aren't valid. And I won't deal with being set aside as an annoyance since I don't follow the same thought patterns as you. I think it says that I don't want to feel like a silly little girl because you've made me feel bad. So you shut up. You stop. Fuck you if you can't let me be me and at least explain myself without interuption. I'm sickened and saddened by my ability to shut off my emotions when I feel stomped upon. And I hope that you can take that seriously enough to not let me shut them off for too long. And I really hope that I'm upset by this soon because it'll really suck if I just don't care anymore. 7:41 p.m. - 11.05.02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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