neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What the hell is normal anyway? Lately I've been reading a lot of diaries that have made me angry. And when I think about it that's pretty silly. I mean they're just other peoples opinions. Really nothing to get angry over. Unless of course they, like Falwell, believe this was caused by gays, abortionists, pagans, feminists, and so on. That's fairly anger inducing. But it's trivial for me to get angry at what someone else believes. And it's automatic. I can't help it. I've decided that I'm not going to really go into how I feel about all of this in this diary beyond saying that it saddens me and makes me very angry. Ian has been scared. I tried to keep a lot of the details away from the kids. Just kind of explaining generally what happened. He's 7 and Caleb is 6, they don't need to know how people lept out of buildings and stuff like that. They know that some bad people did this, they know that thousands of people are affected by this, they know that people ahve lost their lives, they know that this is a sad time. And they usually try to make joke about things like this but they instinctually know that this isn't one of those things that they should make light of. But Ian has heard too much. And for the past few nights I've layed (lied, whatever) down with him until he fell asleep because he is scared that something will happen to us. His principal at school bought enough flags to give one to each of the students. Ian put his in his window. Caleb put his in his bike and he rides around singing God Bles America at the top of his lungs. I want to get back to normal. I want to write an entry that tells you about how Caleb woke me up at 4 in the morning to tell me that his friend Keith has an earring and he wants one too. He's researched it and even knows exactly where he wants to go to get it. Um, no way bud. I want to write about how yesterday was my 7 year anniversary. And me and Billy renewed our vows in a tiny little ceremony that was really just us and 3 other people. I want to keep writing about stuff like that but it feels wrong. I feel like I can't write about the normal things without adding a disclaimer about me realizing how trivial my little life seems in the grand scheme of the past week. I hope all of you are doing well. 10:03 a.m. - 09.15.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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