neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- double dating gone awry I can't deal with transitions. I become completely disfunctional when faced with transitioning from one event to another. Even so much as going outside to check the mail becomes awkward for me. I feel like I need to tell everyone where I am going and what I will be doing while I'm gone. Because I'm an important person you know and what if they need me in the 56 seconds it takes to get to the mailbox? That's just freakish. And when I'm preparing to go out for an evening of festivity it's way worse. I get all into the getting ready part and then when the going out part comes around I can't transition smoothly. Why can't I just stay in the preparation phase? I don't know where that came from except that I'm kind of losing my mind today. The whole billyHim thing might be too much for me. Especially since billy knows about Him and this causes me great concern because billy is fine with it all and it weirds me out a bit. I mean billy and I are not together any longer. But I still care about his feelings. So one tends to not want to rub things in his face and I didn't know he knew. But I found out today that he does. And he's fine with it. He said "It was inevitable and I think He's really good for you." And he didn't say it in that smarmy way that one would expect. He wants to go on a 'double date'. Billy and his new girl thing and Him and I. How does one address that? Hey, my husband and I are going on a double date with my boyfriend and his girlfriend? See how wrong that sounds? So it's all hysterically funny and terribly surreal. Which leaves me giggling with a bunch of fragmented thoughts. My brain has quit processing things in an organized manner. But it's not necesarily bad. Just weird. How did I start talking about this? I was supposed to be talking about transitions? 12:28 p.m. - 06.26.02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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