neuroticgirl's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- life is peachy Oh look, I have a few minutes before I have to go to work. My new hours are Monday through Friday 9 am to 1 pm, the most perfect hours on the face of the earth. I get to drop the kids off at school and get off in time to pick them up from school. With no daycare in between. Plus, I just feel like work is a little stop on my way to getting on with my day. Where as before work WAS my day. By the time I got home I was just tired and had to do the chores that go with everyday life. And the kids suffered. "Hurry up and do your homework, NOW!", "I know you can eat faster than that, don't you know we're on a schedule!" "Get in the shower, run around a few times and get out of the shower, RIGHT THIS MINUTE!" "Hey you, Ian, what are you doing over there, are you having fun? You know there's no time for fun, get to being miserable and rushed NOW!" It's so nice to get home and have time to get everything done, AND have fun. So YAY for my new hours!" David and I had this huge fight last week which led to quite a bit of enlightenment (too early for spell check) on my part. I was miserable. All the time. I didn't make a conscious decision to be completely unhappy and if you asked me if I was generally unhappy I would have told you no, I was fine, just a few things were making me feel drained. But I was. And I was bringing the whole boat down with me. I guess having a mom and girlfriend (respectively, I'm not THAT southern) who is constantly bitchy and disgruntled is wearing. So I gave it a lot of thought and decided to just be happy. I mean how fucking hard is that? And it's worked. At first I had to concentrate on being positive, I was constantly running a bunch of positive phrases and thoughts through my head. Things like "This is no big deal, it'll be over in a minute and I can't let it affect my whole day" or "This too shall pass and my life won't be permanently affected so don't let it get to you (me, you get it, right?)" But after a few days of that it just came naturally. So now my head is back to thinking normal sarcastic, smartass, albeit happy, thoughts. I no longer sound like a self-help starter kit. And I'm much happier in general. So thank you David for making me hate you (very temporarily) and want to leave you, for saying some incredibly mean but necesary comments, for being scathing for my own good. But don't let it happen again. ahem. Anyway, life in general is pretty darn good. I have a few good kid stories that I want to tell you guys but I don't have time right now. So I'll save those for later. 7:29 a.m. - 04.10.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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